we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
