Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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