very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
When did angry sex become our thing?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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