I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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