I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
