lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
