The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
