I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize
