I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
