Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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