I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
