it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
