Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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