Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
