Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
