She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
it's like iHOP with fire
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
