It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
