I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
