Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
