a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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