i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
