I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
