I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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