I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
