you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
