I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
