my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
