p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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