just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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