Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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