Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize
