so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
