We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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