through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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