..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
She announced her abortion via fbk
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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