It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
