what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
