Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm sobbing to NWA
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
