No stitches, just platelets and will power
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
