You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Can I color on your dick again?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
