i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
