Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
