i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
