After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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