i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
