I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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