All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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