As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
