Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
