Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
