Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
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