dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
time to smoke my breakfast
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
