Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
